I'm doing things that I always wanted to do but was too afraid-getting a tattoo, going on long road trips-and there's so much coming up this summer that I'm so excited for...so why do I still feel so sad all the time?  Even this new job, I'm excited about it, and i'll be making more money than I ever have in my life.  It's like the inside of me doesn't pay attention to what's going on in my life...it just clings to the past and stabs me when it thinks I'm ignoring it.  I have to somehow let that part of me go, but I don't know how yet...