I feel like crying.

I keep thinking how come Monday I'll be working again, and I really, really don't know if I'm ready for it yet.  I'm scared to death....not about the job part, I've been a CNA for long enough that I don't get nervous anymore about working on a new floor, it only takes me two nights to get their routines down....I'm scared about interacting with other people, co workers, and I'm scared that I can't handle it, and I'm scared of working making me sick again, like at Presby, and I'm scared of having to leave my apartment every day because my apartment is SAFE...I wish I had someone to talk to about this but I don't.  I don't know what I want to do.  Part of me wants to call and say I'm sorry, I can't take the job right now, and part of me wants to just get it over with and go to work Monday....but that's a very, very small part.  I'm feeling sick tonight, sinus cold type sick, although I'm wondering if that's all in my head because I'm scared.  I just don't want to do this.  My counselor once told me to always follow my insticts because they're always dead on, and right now my instincts are telling me don't do it. 

I'm scared.